I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
