Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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