so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
