After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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