He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
