We tried having a conversation with our noses.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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