I seem to have left my pride at pride
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
