i just wanna soil my oats bro
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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