I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
