Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
