I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
