I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
