I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
