I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
