Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
