Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
