you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
