I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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