john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
