You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
