69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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