I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Randomize