Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I need water and some morals
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
