Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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