That's when you crack a 10am beer
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
