Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
