I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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