My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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