Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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