You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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