Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
