so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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