hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
