lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I need a burrito and a hug.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
