I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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