you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
