Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Come on in and take your pants off
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