so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize