Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
