Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
