He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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