return my video game
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
