Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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