This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
