she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
How many fucks given?
0.12846
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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