Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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