I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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