the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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