It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
