Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
it's like iHOP with fire
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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