I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
