I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
