Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
