I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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