so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
