I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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