New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
