This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
