That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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