brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
