you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize