I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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