the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
