I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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