Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
