Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize