If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
