After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
