One girl and one boy is just not enough.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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