So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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