Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Please don't give away my fajitas
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
