Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
