Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
