I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
